As our final days of Youth Corps come to an end, I realize that in the past six weeks on this trip, there were times when I had never felt more exhausted, uncomfortable, excited, happy, intrigued, or even sad. I experienced a number of “extremes” and discovered things about myself I didn’t know beforehand.

At the same time, I have never been so satisfied with six weeks of my life. By embracing every moment as a learning experience, I have gained more from this trip than I ever anticipated. I decided to do Youth Corps not only to be able to influence the future of Armenia through its youth, but to cover the physical and emotional distance that had developed between me and my homeland. I had visited Armenia twice before to visit family, but this time I came not as a tourist or onlooker, but an involved and contributing individual. I know I’ve made an impression on people here and I hope that it will somehow echo in the future. Now as I prepare to leave I have never felt closer to my own culture, my homeland and its people. Of course, I was able to have the joy of waking up to work with amazing children every single day. Their sharp wit, intelligence, humor, and optimism moved me and taught me that hope and happiness persist and life goes on even in the most meager conditions. I can not begin to describe how much I have learned about the history of Hayasdan and Artsakh, topics that shamefully I new little about. I made it a personal responsibility to absorb as much information as I could. Additionally, I formed a deep emotional connection to my homeland, something I knew I lacked. I’m rarely a very emotional person, but the moment I stepped inside and glanced at the walls of the Martyrs Museum in Stepanakert, covered in photographs and memorabilia from the Artsakhian war, I could not help but cry. When I heard the words of Galya Arstamyan, the mother who ran the museum, all of a sudden the struggle, the fight, that had previously seemed so distant and unfamiliar to me, almost became my own. Being a new AYF member, I came to Armenia with basic knowledge about ARF history, beliefs, and ideals. Now, I have a much more meaningful understanding of the organization and the people that made Armenia’s freedom and independence possible. I can attest to that by all the ARF songs I have learned throughout the trip. Lastly, I must mention the newfound family I have formed from the 25 strangers I first met on this trip. It was inevitable that we got so close within 6 weeks. The fact that we know one another’s bathroom experiences and pet peeves is a clear testament to our intimacy. My family has definitely taught me the importance of respect and compassion in order to maintain harmony and good relationships.

I came to Armenia with a gaping hole in my heart for my homeland. I was prepared to take in every piece of Hayasdan that I could possibly get my hands on, and I did just that. I enjoyed every ray of the biting summer sun, the mosquito bites from Shushi, the ice cream, ice cold water from the myriad of plplaks, the sight of Ararat on a clear day, every hug, wet kiss, and handmade item I received from the children, the marshutka rides, the ponchiks at Ponchik Monchik, the times I was overcharged on a taxi and the other occasion where the driver refused to take our money, overpaying for souvenirs at Vernisage, the unforgettable taste of apricots and watermelon, the evenings on Hyusisain Poghota, chicken dancing with the kids every morning, the intimate “pillow talks” I held with my roommates and the countless rounds of Mafia. Youth Corps 2011 is over, but it only marks the beginning of my work here in the homeland. Hayasdan, I can assure you that I will be back.

With Love,

Sevana Manukian

Հայաստանէն մեկնիլը ոչ մէկուս համար հաճելի չէր: Ամէն անձ կ՛ուզէր պատճառ մը գտնել կամ անձնագիրը «սխալմամբ» կորսնցնել որպէսզի Ամերիկա չի վերադարնար: Բաժնուիլը հայրենիքէն աւելի դժուար է երբ գիտէս որ ամբողջ 7 շաբաթը այցելած ես տուն-թանգարաններ , եկեղեցիներ, Ճավախք, Արագած լեռ, ու շան ուրիշ վայրեր, բայց երբեք չի կրցար մօտենալ Արարատ լերան ու քեզ կարծես յաջողութիւն կը մաղթէ երբ հասնիս օդակայան: Ճիշդ այդ վարկյեանին կը յիշէս մեր յեղափոխաշունջ երգերը ու կը մտաբերես հայուն սրբազան նպատակները: Փոքր ազգ ենք բայց մեր նպատակները, իտէալները եւ յոյսը շատ մեծ է:

Հայ Երիտասարդաց Դաշնակցութեան Արեւմտեան Ամերիկայի ծրագրած ճամբարը արդէն իսկ հասած է իր աւարտին: Հարիւրաւոր պզտիկներու համար հերոսներ էինք, տասնեակ խանութներու համար դարձանք կարեւոր յաճախորդներ, գիւղերու ու քաղաքներու համար դարձանք օրուայ խօսակցութեան գլխաւոր թեման…

Բայց մեր գործը հոս չ՝աւարտիր:

Հայրենիքին ծառայել երբեք դադար չ՝ունի:

Հայ Դատի համար նուիրումը զոհաբերութիւն չէ, այլ պարտականութիւն:

Ամէնէն երէցէն մինչեւ կրտսեր հայը այսօր ընելիք ունի: Պայքարը կը շարունակուի որովհետեւ այդ մեր պարտքն է մեր նահատակներուն կտակին: Եթէ երէկ մեր նպատակն էր Արցախ ազատագրել, ուրեմն այսօր մեր նպատակը Արեւմտեան Հայաստանին վերատիրանալն է:

Եւ ամպայման կը վստահեցնեմ ձեզի օր մը Միասնութեան Պարը պիտի պարուի Արարատի շուրջը:

Օր մը Վանայ ծովուն վրայ գտնուող եկեղեցիներուն մէջ մոմ պիտի վարենք:

Օր մը Անի քաղաքի շքեղ եկեղեցիներէն դուրս պիտի գան նոր պսակուած զոյգեր:

Օր մը Մուշ քաղաքի ճամբաններուն վրայ հայ ծերունին պիտի ողջունէ աշակերտներուն որոնք կ՝երթան դպրոց:

Օր մը Արեւմտեան Ամերիկայի Հայ Երիտասարդաց Դաշնակցութիւնը Արեւմտեան Հայաստանի քաղաքներուն ու գիւղերուն մէջ պիտի կազմակերպէ Ճամբար մը:

Օր մը ես ու դու պիտի ըլլանք դրացիներ շքեղ Ատանայի մէջ:

Եւ այս բոլորը պիտի իրականացուի ՎԱՂ ԹԷ ՈՒՇ:

-         Վերժինի Թուլումեան

The Armenian Genocide is arguably one of the biggest parts of recent Armenian history and without question the most devastating event the Armenian people have faced. The two times that I have visited the Dzitzernakapert memorial, I have left with tears streaming from my eyes. The pure and utter grief I feel from viewing the records from the museum of the attempted annihilation of my people is too much for me to hold in. It makes me wonder how such cruelty and inhumanity can even exist in the world.

And then I am soon reminded by the many crosses that our country bears that we are apparently a very dedicated Christian people. The sadness I feel then slowly turns into anger. Personally, it baffles me at how submissive people seem to act when it comes to religion. Despite pain, suffering, death, war, famine, disease, and genocide; people still have an undying love for God and their religion. How can people suffer through so much hardship and still bear to turn the other cheek. It seems to me that some Armenians may even just enjoy the bragging rights of being the first Christian nation. Although I know and understand the important role the Armenian church played in organizing Armenians when we had no other form of a strong Armenian community, it does not ring true today since we now have an independent nation and a great many diasporan Armenian organizations that unite our people outside of the homeland. The country is suffering economically and requires basic infrastructure and social programs like roads, schools, hospitals, street lighting, trash pick up, etc. Yet at any chance they can get, they build new churches everywhere. I appreciate the old churches we have for its historical and architectural value, but it just seems illogical to keep building new churches when the country needs money for many other things. The churches literally contribute nothing but false hope to the society; meanwhile building a school or hospital can impact a community for many generations to come.

My reasons for losing my faith I think are very simple and I am surprised there are not more Armenians like me. After seeing records and pictures of the genocide, I started raising questions to myself about morality. The usual questions came up of how bad things happen to good people; is it worth the suffering and pain if in the end an eternity of heaven is granted; until at last I thought of the existence of evil. I personally don’t think that any human can necessarily be what is considered “evil”. It’s always points of view and which side of the fence you’re sitting on. To me, someone being evil is someone who is sane and acts only to cause harm and devastation without concrete reason to their cause. With this in mind, I visited the genocide memorial and witnessed the accounts of what happened almost one hundred years ago. The only things I could think of was that I hope that there is no God, because if there is, he knew of what would happen, he witnessed what happened, he allowed it to happen, and he has yet to punish those responsible for it. If this God were to exist, he does not sound like the all powerful, knowledgable and loving God that people are told about. He sounds cruel, evil, and worse than the devil. If we are God’s children, and he punishes some with death and disease to teach others to live better, I don’t want that God. I find it incredibly difficult to think that any sane person on the face of this earth would even think to kill one of their children in order to teach the other. That’s why I don’t believe in any sort of deity or super natural powers, because I can’t even begin to imagine such evil existing and controlling everything in the universe. In politics, we praise democracy and freedom while we talk down against tyranny and dictators, but when the same instances of dictatorship and censorship are present in religion, we turn a blind eye to it and make exceptions for the church.

I didn’t write this blog to verbally harass Christianity or any other religion. I can understand and respect peoples reasons for being religious, spiritual, or having faith. Everybody is entitled to believe in anything they desire. I’m just bothered by those who claim to hold actual knowledge and truth of a supernatural deity without any real proof. I’m also bothered by those who claim to be religious, but are only religious because they were raised that way and have never actually sat down to think for themselves what they really believe. People should not have to wait and suffer in order to by chance get some kind compensation from a god. People should take hold of their own destiny and act to make their own lives better for themselves, not for some god. I’ve written this blog to express myself openly and freely as an Armenian atheist that is a proud member of the AYF. I want people to know that Armenians do not necessarily have to be tied down to Christianity and that we should embrace any religion, or non religion since there are some people that have even told me that an Armenian must be a Christian or else he/she is not an Armenian at all. We as a people need to progress and embrace a more secular approach to religion and do away with the traditional archaic ideologies.

Shant Mirzaians

It has been over a week that I’ve been “home”. A week of seeing friends and family that I hadn’t seen for six weeks, but the people and buildings I was missing the most were the people I lived with for six weeks and my homes that I had in Armenia. Instead of turning the radio on and listening to the new popular songs in Los Angeles I have a CD of songs that we would always sing in Armenia whether it be “Made in Armenia” by Grisho (our Gyumri theme song) or “Kharapaghtsi”. I know it sounds ridiculous for me as an individual who is fortunate enough to live the life I live, to be getting the education that I am getting, and to have all the comforts of the world to say that the only one thing I want is to live in a country with the second worst economy in the world. The difference between living in Los Angeles and Armenia is huge with the main one being you actually live there. You don’t live life to satisfy the quota that society has set for you, you live for you. My time in Armenia was short and I may be speaking too soon because six weeks isn’t enough to judge an entire country and judge the queries that the people have which cause them to leave. There is one moment in Armenia that I will never forget however cheesy it is… okay it is more like three separate events that build on each other to make one story.

The day that Arpa and I got the approval to go to Hamahaygagan Panagoum (ARF World Youth Camp) we were ecstatic, but at the same time reluctant to be leaving our kids… yes it was only a day early but it meant not spending an entire six hours with them and not getting to see their hantes on Friday. While saying goodbye Arpa and I were in a corner talking to two of her color boys, Asri and Ara, and Mihran from my color. We explained to them that we would be back in Shushi in four days and it wasn’t a goodbye but more of a see you later. When the boys found out that we were coming back they asked us where we were staying and when we replied that we had no idea Asri turned around with the utmost confidence and told us to not worry… he would find us so we could be reunited. Four long days later we were back in Shushi and while lined up to go inside the hotel Arpa and I spotted Mihran at the same exact time. Now the positions were switched, we were the campers and we had to listen to our khmpabeds (leaders). Mihran ran up and we started all excitedly talking about how we couldn’t believe that we were in Artsakh for less than one hour and already found each other… it was fate! As it turned out Mihran, who is fifteen years old, began working at the hotel three weeks before we stayed there. Mihran took us around the hotel and introduced us to his co-workers and boss, as his teachers that he had talked about for the last week, and in turn we took Mihran around to our friends from Hamahaygagan and introduced him as a participant of Youth Corps’ camp in Shushi. That night we went to sleep, woke up and went travelling, not really expecting to see any of our Jambar kids except for Mihran… surprise surprise when we got to the hotel kids were waiting for us outside. Mihran even went and picked up Asri and Ara so Arpa could see them again, and of course sing for us. The four days we were in Shushi our kids would come visit us every single day and would always ask for people in our group that had not returned. Everyone at Hamahaygagan knew that if there were kids outside the hotel waiting for anybody to call Arpa and I because they were probably the Jambar kids. It was then that I felt the power of Youth Corps. It was at that moment when I was sitting outside the hotel with a few of the Jambar girls talking when I realized that I might have been there for two weeks, I might have only known the kids for such a short amount of time but they will never forget those two weeks and I know I won’t either because I learned so much from the yerekhek (children). Leaving Shushi the second time was bittersweet… we were happy we returned to Artsakh we got to see the kids outside the classroom and hear their thoughts on Jambar (all positive), but at the same time we knew we were nearing the end of the road to our trip in Armenia.

When I got home I had gotten sick on the airplane and Verginie said it best… it was because I was missing my lands, Hayrenikis garoduh, that I got sick. I am counting down the months, days, hours, until next summer when I can return to Armenia and be back on my lands because no matter what, in the end it is mine and yours and we need to take care of it, nurture it, and learn from the people there.

Menk Enk Mer Sareruh.

—
Patil Aslanian